HELLMERRY brings us 4:AM, a raw track about a late night filled with longing. Krsna Das Mendoza and Lester Paul Vano write the lyrics that describe a sleepless search for someone. Lester Paul Vano also composes the music that matches this mood.
Released: September 9, 2023
4:AM
Hellmerry
4:AM Meaning & Lyrics (Hellmerry)
The songwriter mentions pills, smoke, and an empty bed to show a person fading after their love leaves. The line ‘her love is even more potent than poison’ captures the addictive nature of this relationship. The narrator describes moving from the bed to the floor in a haze of passion and confusion.
Hinahanap ka, andito ka lang kaninaI’m looking for you, you were just here a moment ago.
Mag-isa sa kama simula no’ng umuwi kaI’ve been alone in bed since the moment you went home.
Tableta sa sistema, para akong nanghihinaWith these ‘pills’ in my system, I feel like I’m fading away.
Habang usok lamang sa dilim ‘yong nakikitaWhile all I can see is the smoke drifting through the dark.
Hinahanap ka, andito ka lang kaninaI’m searching for you, you were just right here.
Mag-isa sa kama simula no’ng umuwi kaI’m all by myself in bed since you left for the night.
Tableta sa sistema, para akong nanghihinaWith the ‘tablets’ in my system, I feel my strength failing.
Habang usok lamang sa dilim ‘yong nakikitaAs I watch the smoke disappear into the shadows.
Pag-ibig niya, matindi pa sa lasonHer love is even more potent than poison.
Tila nagpakalulong sa dala-dalang dahonIt’s like I’ve lost myself in the ‘herb’ we brought along.
Sabay tayong sumalubong, nagpatangay sa alonWe faced it together, letting ourselves be swept away by the waves,
Na parang telenobelang pinalabas maghaponjust like a soap opera that plays all day long.
‘Sama kang bumangon sa kama, alam ko nagkasalaI wanted to wake up with you, even though I know I’ve done wrong.
Tanggap ko rin kung babalik ‘yong kamaI’d accept it even if this bed remains empty.
Kaso kahit anon’g gawin, ‘la nang pag-asaBut no matter what I do, there’s no hope left.
Nakakawalang ganaI’ve lost all my drive.
Sa ‘yo ko lamang gustong dumikitYou’re the only one I want to be close to.
Umabot sa kama’t sahig nang nakapikitWe moved from the bed to the floor with our eyes closed.
Abot ang mga halik sa labi at leeg, nakakakiligKisses reaching from your lips to your neck, it’s such a thrill.
Atras-abante habang takip ko ang ‘yong bibigMoving back and forth while I cover your mouth.
‘Di naman malabo ‘yong mata pero ‘di ka na mabasaMy eyes aren’t blurry, but I can’t read you anymore.
‘Yong dating matamis, nawalan na bigla ng lasaWhat used to be sweet has suddenly lost its flavor.
Na parang nilapit ka lamang sa ‘kin ng tadhanaIt’s as if destiny only brought you close to me,
Para ituwid ‘yong mga mali ko na tamato set right the mistakes I once thought were correct.
Hinahanap ka, andito ka lang kaninaI’m looking for you, you were just here a moment ago.
Mag-isa sa kama simula no’ng umuwi kaI’ve been alone in bed since the moment you went home.
Tableta sa sistema, para akong nanghihinaWith these ‘pills’ in my system, I feel like I’m fading away.
Habang usok lamang sa dilim ‘yong nakikitaWhile all I can see is the smoke drifting through the dark.
Hinahanap ka, andito ka lang kaninaI’m searching for you, you were just right here.
Mag-isa sa kama simula no’ng umuwi kaI’m all by myself in bed since you left for the night.
Tableta sa sistema, para akong nanghihinaWith the ‘tablets’ in my system, I feel my strength failing.
Habang usok lamang sa dilim ‘yong nakikitaAs I watch the smoke disappear into the shadows.
‘Di ko rin alam ba’t ako gan’toI don’t even know why I’m like this.
Tawa mo pa din hinahanap koI’m still searching for the sound of your laughter.
Lalo na ‘pag malakas ang amats koEspecially when my ‘head’ is spinning and I’m feeling high.
Mahalaga ka sa ‘kin, dapat malaman moYou’re important to me, and you need to know that.
‘Di ko rin alam ba’t ako gan’toI’m not sure why I’ve become this way.
Tawa mo pa din hinahanap koI keep looking for your smile and your laugh.
Lalo na ‘pag malakas ang amats koParticularly when the intensity of the high kicks in.
Mahalaga ka sa ‘kin, dapat malaman moYou mean everything to me, you should realize that.
Gusto ko lang din lagi tayong maayosI just want everything to be right between us.
‘Pag ikaw kasama, wala na ‘yong pagodWhen I’m with you, all my exhaustion disappears.
Tanggal ‘yong lungkot, masaya, walang takotThe sadness vanishes, replaced by joy and courage.
Lambingan mainam sa ‘tin nakabalotWe’re wrapped in the warmth of our affection.
Gusto ko lang din lagi tayong maayosI only want us to be in a good place.
‘Pag ikaw kasama, wala na ‘yong pagodAll the weariness fades when you’re by my side.
Tanggal ‘yong lungkot, masaya, walang takotMy sorrow is gone; I’m happy and I feel no fear.
Lambingan mainam sa ‘tin nakabalotThe tenderness we share keeps us both sheltered.
Tableta, usok sa bibigTablets and smoke on my breath.
Sarap damahin, kiniligIt feels so good, I’m shaking with excitement.
Umangat pataas, pabalikRising up high, then coming back down.
Nag-iwan ng marka sa leegLeaving a mark right on your neck.
Tableta, usok sa bibigPills and smoke drifting from my lips.
Sarap damahin, kiniligIt’s a wonderful feeling, it gives me chills.
Sa kama hanggang sa sahigFrom the bed all the way to the floor.
Pawisan sa gabing malamigWorking up a sweat on this cold night.
Laging hinahanap ka, andito ka lang kaninaI’m always looking for you, you were just here.
Mag-isa sa kama, simula no’ng umuwi kaAlone in the sheets since you went back home.
Tableta sa sistema, para akong nanghihinaWith ‘pills’ in my system, I feel myself losing strength.
Habang usok lamang sa dilim ‘yong nakikitaWhile only the smoke is visible in the darkness.
Hinahanap kaI’m searching for you.
Laging hinahanap kaI’m always looking for you.
Hinahanap kaI’m looking for you.
4:AM Music Video
4:AM is a haunting portrait of addiction and desire. The English lyrics of ‘4:AM’ describe the struggle between physical intoxication and emotional need.